ALONE

I wrote this poem at Soda Springs in 2006, when I had the opportunity to attend a weekend poetry retreat at the home of one of my workshop buddies. I enjoyed the company of my poet friends and the wonderful time at this little town not too far from Lake Tahoe. I went for a walk down the trail behind the cottage, but shortly thereafter, I found myself quite lost. This wasn’t just about not finding my way back, but about losing myself in the future. The thought of being alone just stabbed at me. And yet, in a way, I felt liberated.

Standing alone on this hill at Soda Springs

I feel as if I’ve been here
before the rest of the people arrived

on the earth, before man was created
or children were born.

I know what it feels like
to be the only person around for miles.

I’ve distanced myself from all I know
and there’s no more reason for fear

because I am now past all the cares
and the worries and can move on

without a load—free to move wherever
I please, or stop, or change my course.

I am no longer responsible for anyone.
I am only responsible for myself.

To myself I remain responsible.